inner thoughts

last time when i was younger, everytime i felt this way, my best friend would be a pen knife. and my only satisfaction? is when i see the red that flows out from the wound.

It's like u pull me close, then u give a kick in the ass. Then u do it again and again.

My head tells me to do something else.... but my heart, my FUCKING heart wants me to stay.

I feel like ripping my heart out and throwing it to the dogs so they can eat it or something.

Don't tell me I should forget everything or stop whatever I'm feeling coz i'm getting that from my stupid head all the time.

And to friends who tell me i shouldn't hope to much... I KNOW! coz tt's what my FRIGGIN head says every night before I go to slp. FUCK... NO! it tells me everytime i'm alone....

"Don't get ur hopes to high.... dont.... dont.... dont..."

I KNOW!!!!!!!!

but my heart wont F-ing listen...... it wants to stay... it wants ur warmth... it wants ur kisses... it wants ur hugs..............

and cause I'm just sooo torn, i cry myself to sleep each night

Call me dumb, call me stupid maybe i'm a fool for love

And to the one i hurt very badly. Damn.... was I mean.... to have it said to the face like that, I felt like i was hit by a tsunami. And to think we're still friends now, you're soooo patient with me. Only today did i feel the guilt, and i cld feel the pain inside.

Karma's a bitch